Season 2018 ~ Mick's AFL Footy Blog

3 clubs, 23 rounds, A slab of passion….

Knocked out Loaded

Posted on August 16, 2011 by Mickey Gee

My brother Robert of Can the Dees fame has jetted over from NZ with his eldest son Phillip to watch son Michael play in the Victorian Soccer League for Bentlieigh in the last game of the year.

Rare Gwyther Football ensemble. From left: Robert Gwyther, Michael Gwyther, Phil Gwyther, Merlyn Gwyther-McCuskey, Fagyn Gwyther-McCuskey, Nicola and Tracey Pearce (Rob’s and my niece)

Being an old demon, I pick up tickets for Rob for the Melbourne V Carlton game with the suspicion that it will be experience akin to the solder retuning to his home in Dresden. My kids Merlyn and Fagyn tag along too along with Phil and Michael’s friend Nicola. Aghast at the cost of MCG goon, they settle into the amber swill that passes, behind CUB sniggers, for beer here.

Punt road end, sun in our face, no wind, rain gone and two geezers in front of us high as a kite on something ramp up the crowd around us with a stream of social commentary in the mannequin of abuse. Particularly insightful was the load the poor bastard one seat down from them copped by wearing Versace sunglasses. Reaching for the anti social mobile number I realise I need to join the umpires affiliation with OPSM. Either that or the pre game pints. Our geezers, not limited to our section, migrate to the next where Police -obviously bored with Melbourne’s efforts – finally boot the boys out. Mr Versace spots the lead Geezer’s coat still hanging in front of us, gives it a Chris Yarran like shake and out falls an unopened 375 millilitre bottle of Jim Beam. Smiling he pockets it knowing full well this prize was worth being called a “cheap bitch” just 5 minutes earlier by our ramped up friend. This is almost like being amongst the Collingwood faithful!

In the middle of all this, Melbourne rehearse the tired old “play harder for the new coach” stanza before Chris Judd kicks a lovely snap in front of us which marks the end of the prologue. After that its emphatically Carlton and sun hits neck patches unvisited by ultraviolet light since March as goal after goal is shot, snapped, driven, pumped, dribbled and kicked around, about and through us. Thank God for Versace.

You just wonder where the leadership is at Melbourne.

Post game, we debate heading to the Storm at AAMI or the Wallabies V All Blacks Tri Nations game at the pub. The pub wins.

Post Game er … Blues

Next day we plan a simple trip to get there after our vehicle falls through but the trip goes something like this:

Tram to City.
Tram to Prarahn
Taxi to Prarahn station. Make train. Get on train. Problem on Line. Train cancelled. Realise train is on wrong line to get to ground.
Walk to Chapel Street
Tram up Chapel
Walk to South Yarra Station
Train to Cheltenham
10 minute bid to hail CAB
Enter ground 5 minutes into game.

Bentleigh sun does wonders for kiwi lads Robert and Phillip Gwyther

Michael goes onto to suffer big defeat 5 Nil One of the worst results Rob has ever seen. Even with JetStar, comes out to around $68 an opposition goal for the return trip…break even if you throw in Melbourne.

Great club Bentliegh. Club President is honoured Rob has come over. Souvlakis and beer all round. In the social club see the Hawks come back in the last 5 to get over a gallant but hard luck story Roos. While digesting, the President gives us nice ride in his baby blue Callais to the station, where buses have replaced trains. Got some toe that Callais, its an auto and the neck gets a bit more sun as we push through the gears at pace.

Post Script. 3 days after the shameful 5 Nil result, Bentleigh now out of the finals play Melbourne Victory in a pre A League season warm up friendly. Bentlieigh win and Michael puts one into the back of the net.

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The Blues had a baby…

Posted on August 4, 2011 by Mickey Gee

Pleasant stroll after a couple of pots at the 3 Crowns in Victoria Street West Melbourne to the Roos one shot for the season at Friday Night Prime Time Football. Works too with 41,000 showing up – a fair jolt on the usual sub 20K crowd North experience at home games.

Back in 1985 North cooked up the Friday Night concept and sold it to the AFL and Channel 7. Bit part Rooboys like Gilbert McAdam became household names after exciting Friday night cameos. The mid to late 90’s Friday night feasts with the Roos atop of the woodpile thanks to blokes like Carey, Archer, King, McKernan conjured another North golden age.

Last year and also against Carlton, the Roos celebrated the 25th anniversary of this event with fireworks that hit the Etihad roof, John Paul Young and Kanga, the mascot dancing on Level 2. Even Dennis Pagan turned up for a jig. Roos flogged em, tears flowed and we danced in the members in the aisle.

Tonight its the Blues again. Juddy fresh from the birth earlier in the week of new son Oscar was quiet early along with Betts and Garlet who struggle to get a sniff. Scott Thompson and Brady Rawlings hold up the back line while Andrew Swallow has leather under his nails tonight as he dominates the clearances around the ground. The Blues kick point after points while the Roos dissolve opportunities to secure a lead with some crucial misses on goal.

Drew Petrie took regulation mark of the year. The Roos look straighter and taller when he plays. His presence doesn’t rub off on Aaron Edwards and Matty Campbell with the continual breakdown of any forward pressure. The Roos were tighter in defence and in the middle and at three quarter time its all locked up at 58 a piece.

Last quarter sees a couple of real quick Blue goals before Juddy – not a renowned long kick, marks outside 50 goes back and drills a high spinning ball that drops over the line. Almost the definitive interpretation of the “Captain’s goal”. Probably hasnt had a lot of sleep since Monday but certainly woke up in the last, was everywhere providing options, clearances, marks, encouragement. Simply Marvellous.

Shuffle back to Errol to reflect at the Town Hall. Music and crowd at the 3 Crowns too upbeat for a reflection on that missed opportunity for a Roo’s final berth. Carlton however almost in the top 4 vault.

Carlton 11 14 80 d North Melbourne 9 8 62

Night after we head to the pub to watch the Hawks and Freo. We flog em in the wet.

We watch Dean Baileys press conference and feel it’s probably his last performance after the Cats destroy the Dees at Kardinia Park. Here he tries the unsucessful alias of Brad Green.

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The Demon’s Playground

Posted on July 28, 2011 by Mickey Gee

Fresh from the premiere of Fred Schepsi’s “Eye of the Storm” at the Melbourne International Film Festival, I venture to the MCG for Hawthorn V Melbourne is search of defensive mise en scene.

Fred is in town to also show his old self funded and screened Aussie chestnut “The Devils Playground” where Fred shows how the Devil, like the Demons did most of his best work in the 50s in Australia.

Leading up to Vatican 2, Melbourne won 3 flags on the trot before the Collingwood clerics held up the crufix to reinforce their 4 in a row record from the Gordon Coventry days.

We collectively give Yabby Jeans a minutes silence as his incredible career is highlighted on the big screens. The rain lifts, the sun comes out and the Hawks pump it inside 50 5 times in the first 10 minutes for 5 goals without a Dee touching the ball.

Through Nathan Jones and Matthew Bates the Dees recover and get back to within 10 at quarter time. Second quarter is a see saw but with the Demons bid to bring darkness to Glenferrie. Enter Cyril “Buffy” Rioli who – with pal “Spike” Franklin and “Angel” Mitchell spike the heart of the Demon and consign the Bailey game plan to dust.

The second half is like the Exorcist in reverse for the Dees as the Hawks infiltrate every line with salvation to prove that while you can lose some disciples along the way through injury (164 games lost for the brown and gold in 2011) you still might have a shot at the holy grail.

Hawthorn 20 12 132 d Melbourne 12 6 78

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A Shaw Bet

Posted on July 17, 2011 by Mickey Gee

A flag in the bag and another one on the way. What better way to stuff up the back to back march than putting on a few bets and hitting the Footy Show to show how the passion to coach is still flowing like the ink on a once drying contract. Is it a rot from the head or just a brief trip on the road along the October red carpet?

Thats what we are here to see. Carlton v Collingwood, the old rivals etc etc. Oddly Nick Maxwell leaves the toss to Harry O’Brien presumably as a hat tip to Multicultural round. Carlton sent Juddy for that. Harry lead em out too.

Carlton work hard to break the Pie Press and do so on a couple of occasions moving the ball at speed through the breach to an inevitable goal.

Yet the Blues struggle to string together sucessive goals. In the 3rd two terrific goals from either side of the half forward flank from the boundary from Sidebottom and Pendlebury hint at what is to come and although they dont relinquish the struggle, they lack the firepower to notch and repel enough goals to challenge. Leon goes forward and backs a nice kick off the ground but a ball that split him from his defender and turned right into the goals path.

Daisy took goal of the round and continues to build his credentials for Captaincy.

Bought a paper on the way into the ground – some 10 Collingwood stories inside in a nice act of timing from the Pies to assist News to get the phone hacking scandal off the front page. Some nice pics of Tom Hafey at 80 too working the beach at 5.30 in the ongoing struggle for octogenarion fitness. Still he looks fit enough to be Superman’s dad.

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Hird to be Humble

Posted on July 10, 2011 by Mickey Gee

Dons V Hawks. Lines in the sand, Grannies through the 80s, Brereton’s kiss on Duckworth, Lloydy’s final desperate act to lift his side against a ball chasing Brad Sewell.

My hip has been slowly going and after not being able to walk for a time, this is my first game back for 3 weeks as I crutch into the hawks members I reflect on how I am to carry the drinks back to the seat.

When Watson does his hammy, the Doc tells Hird down the phone, “Is Don, Is Gone” as the young Hawks put on a clinic. We lose Sewlly and Cyril but everyone stands up. By game end, we’re back in the finals race despite losing Roughy, Gilham, Renouf, Stratton all walk up starts to that one day in September er October.

The Goal Umpire texts his chiropractor for a date post game as the Hawks push 9 over his neck in the second quarter. Hawks pour it on, kids stand up, No Buddy, No Roughy and 11 goal kickers.

On the tram home, strangely cast as counsellor to young bomber fans distraught at upcoming carnage against the Cats next round.

Hawthorn 23 8 146 d Essendon 12 9 81

Llyods last act as captain.

Line in the sand. Dons win game. Hawks lose players for weeks.

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Nostalgia for Suburban Balance

Posted on July 10, 2011 by Mickey Gee

The good ol days – Arden Street oval, the Lakeside oval, smokin at the footy, polystyrene eskys full to the brim with 750ml steel cans of Carlton Draught, no name footy boots, buttons on guernseys, mud, puddles on the ground, fist fights, boiling mince within 4 and 20s, teeth knocked into guts and of course ten cent Footy Records printed on low grade news print. Life in Black in White. VFL.

There was a symmetry about South V North games, separated by river but joined by a blue collar ethic and a singular commitment to a lack of success on the field. Hard to believe it, but triple Brownlow Medalist and Butternut Snap advocate Bob Skilton waited until the twilight of his magnificent career to experience a lone crippling final where defeat was an experience as if ripped apart by wild dogs.

Ironic that both clubs embraced modernity quicker than most and Norths final push to the summit in 1975 was fueled by the short lived 10 year player rule and a new breed of entrepener keen to fast track to sucess on the basis that footy clubs could run like a public company. South went financially south then pushed North to survive for a time as South Melbourne before becoming the Sydney Swans. Rationalisaton had begun.

Now North are going South over water to pursue financial stability. Where do they belong and where the hell are the fans. It feels like Sydney still have more fans in Melbourne than North – the connection to the suburb still flickers than say Fitzroys Brisbane incantation/takeover.

Fast forward to the new era and both clubs dip into the well of Premiership glory, in the Swans case the first for over 70 years. My father, Noel or Toby to most, and triple Best and Fairest for the Leongatha Rovers in the late 1940s turned to the Swans in 1933 as he tuned into the underdogs on a crystal radio while pulling tits on the family diary farm. The Swans whipped the Tigers that day but there is no historical evidence of this event on subsequent milk yields. He died well before the move of the Swans to Sydney and the later flag under Roosy. As a kid I could never reach his brutal 8 foot up stab kicks from 40 yards on our nightly kick to kicks on the farm before the cycle of milking called. I never saw him play of course but from our 10 years of kick to kick I imagine the Swans player he most approximated would have been Paul Kelly.

Back to the future and this game has a sort of middling quality to it. Both clubs aren’t up to challenging the contenders, this game exists purely for the moment and another 4 points. Kinda like a doomed climb up Everest where everytime you turn your back another Sherpa has done a bunk.

The first half lacks the kind of buzz that can overcome comfort eating, but post big break it picks up and the lead bounces about. The Roos really need a few superstars to rise above that Skinboner legacy that ties them to an unsuccesful past. After all, few career counselors interviewed for this articles recommended that a focussed young adult pursue shinboning as a potential career path.

Kangas couldn’t buy a goal or a free in the last seven minutes and, down a point, the siren is met by the sounds of thousands of roo member bums erupt from seats generating an amplified THWACK as they stream cussing toward the exit. No waiting around, just get me out of here.

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West of the Guest

Posted on July 10, 2011 by Mickey Gee

Guest blogger and erstwhile Season 2011 partner Erin McCuskey calls the action on her beloved Pies as they take on the emerging West Coast Eagles as they punch through the post Ben Cousin’s “Trouble in Paradise” era. Pies fans – masquerading as social commentators in reverse – around us mistakenly shun us for wrong perception we’ve speed dialled the unsociable alert mobile number plastered round the G. But Erin’s is tough enough to stand up for herself and take the heat on behalf of the anonymous caller in the echo of various slag offs of Eagles based on sexuality, race, criminal history and alleged drug use.

Alas the West disappear up their own straw of ambition as the Pies push pain upon yet another club whose reach fails the stretch of their dream.

Collingwood 16 9 105 d West Coast Eagles 7 11 53

Big day post as we sweep on to the E to watch the Hawks unstitch the Dogs short kick by short kick.

Hawthorn 13 13 91 d Western Bulldogs AKA Footscray 9 8 62

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On the Couch

Posted on May 20, 2011 by Mickey Gee

The lure of the long grass calls tonight as we wipe aside the domestic tasks in preparation of a long weekend couch session across fox, channel 7 and 10 and 3AW. I was with Johnny R when he sang “I’m a lazy sodddddddddd”

Strolling to client today around Swan Street, Richmond came accross this fabulous mural detailing various historical stimuli. Close to the bakery where 7 years earlier my dog disgraced itself over their outdoor furniture and pavement space when a passing car backfired.

Jack Dyer with Ben Cousins style haircut. Personally I prefer the 3 cm shaved above the ears look. Done well to elude the Don and Errol and give birth to the drop punt here.

The KB Artist otherwise known as Ben Nason ignores the lead from that Footroot Flats guy to do it himself.
The King of Braybrook puts the slipper into Charles Kingsford Smith. Smith become the father of cloud computing when he took his sliderule with him to predict fuel use over long distances.

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Saints……………Gone

Posted on May 19, 2011 by Mickey Gee

Hawks were booed at quarter time after scoring one point to St Kilda’s 5 goals. Considered leaving for the Fassbinder festival at ACMI but hung in and by half time we were up on our feet to cheer the boys in for some oranges and cordial. By games end collectively as fans we were in awe at what had just transpired.

Nicks men went from Saints to Somnambulists in under ten minutes as the Hawks clawed their way back despite losing David Hale and Stephen Gilman to awful knee injuries.

The brick shitehouse Brent “The Return of Martin” Guerre enjoyed his 200th game. He’s been a champ in the Andy Collins style. Fearless, calm, reliable but you still have your heart in your mouth when he gets the pill.

The Bud was extraordinary, despite some early sprays emerged to bomb 2 55 metre plus sputniks that would put hair back on the social networked frame of Big Nick.

Roughy went into the ruck and adapted like the proverbial pig in .

Sewell was hammered at the end of each pack with the ball. Holding up, getting first use, taking the hits for the sake of the hide. God he’s good.

The dream is over! Happy birthday Buddha!

Steve Baker back out for throating The Osbourne. May not be seen this way again.

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Are Roos Electric?

Posted on May 19, 2011 by Mickey Gee

Big game, line in sand game, talk is over game. And that’s just for the bloke checking the bags at the gates. Dees jumped the Roos first quarter and 5 goals out. Scotty gave em hell in the second and the Roos scratched it back.

Then the pear emerged in the shape of dual Dee injuries and the vacancy in the ruck caused by pre game check out of the “Big Russian” Mark Jamar. Roos found their rhythm, the fans went from baggin to cheerin and the leather rain started. Dees had been heavy on the tweet after Jacky Trengove coped 3 for his sling from the tribunal. Thankfully Gary Numan in town this very night to repose the question first asked 30 years past – “Are friends electric?”

Loved watching Wellsy torped 60 metres from half back into a two on one chook raffle to turn the game. Add a specky from Goldy and an Aaron Edwards “back in town….again” set of 5 goals after 10 in the Twos and you get the sense of momentum.

Thoroughly enjoyable day – bloody cold though. Warmer outside than in Ethihad. Even buggar is sharpening the axe for Dean Bailey. Wouldn’t you love to see big Neita in the big chair? Now there’s an electric friend.

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